so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Randomize
