I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
