he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
