Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
