My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
