Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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