this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
