OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
