im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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