oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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