I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
