marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
