Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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