my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
