theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
