It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
