I am in a vortex of obligation.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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