my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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