I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
