Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
wow bdsm is so cute
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
