I saw his package. It spoke to me.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
