wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize