dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
