Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
