Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
