He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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