What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
