i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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