Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
People with herpes should wear stickers.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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