if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
