so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
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