Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
