I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
