i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
