On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
