You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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