Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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