i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
