Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
