she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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