More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
