You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
