He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
