Your tits are I can't wait for
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
