god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
