Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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