I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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