no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
