this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
