he wants to bone in the snuggie
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
We are two peas in an std pod
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
