Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
okay pat passed out under dana's car
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
