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• (857): View more from Massachusetts

  So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  And why did you do that?

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  Tequila

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?

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• (518): View more from New York

  we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...

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• (310): View more from California

  I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected

  (1-310): View more from California

  Only you would come out as bi like that

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs

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• (928): View more from Arizona

  What's the plan?

  (1-928): View more from Arizona

  Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?

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• (713): View more from Texas

  Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.

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• (727): View more from Florida

  i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there

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• (207): View more from Maine

  im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.

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