Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
