spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
