The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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