Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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