Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
