Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
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