dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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