too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
