I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
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