i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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