Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
